in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
