If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
