Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
