Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
