Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
