piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
