Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
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New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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