she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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