If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
