Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
its not stalking. its research.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
