he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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