After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
