smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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