this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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