Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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