cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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