I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she pinky promised me she was 18
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize