is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
