hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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