Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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