How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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