dude i'm inner monologue high
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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