Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
