ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
