she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
