Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
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I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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