i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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