"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
40s are totally the cure
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
