I feel great
I just peed on a car
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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