My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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