four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
