i think my tv is drunk
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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