Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
