I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
