I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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