It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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