I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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