the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
zippers are such a cool invention
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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