i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
