This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
babies were throwing up all over the place
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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