Everything about him screamed your future.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
