Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
