____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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