I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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