Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm both gender and math confused
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
