i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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