I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
