glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
