I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize