he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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