Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
