I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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