i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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