Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
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At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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