So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
