hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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