Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
