a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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