No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
