So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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