with your own penis?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
