I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
