Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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