Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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