John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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