her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
