Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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