member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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