i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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