Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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