If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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