i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
