It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
