Your face is a jimmy john
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
and she was petting her beer can
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
