Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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