You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I have post one night stand depression
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