Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
