Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Alive.
So much puke
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
