I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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